The Wrong Hero
by pandoralily
Summary: I didn't think Hyrule would be like this, and the promises of my childhood were long gone, but fate works in mysterious ways. You have heard stories, and rumours, about me. Yes, I was Ganondorf's concubine. Yes, I escaped and helped the hero. But I am more than my past, this is the story of how it all happened, and for the first time it's me telling the tale. Link/oc
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys, so here's another fanfic I probably won't finish lol, I've been an avid Zelda fan for nearly twenty years so I thought this necessary.

It will follow botw with some divergence and poor Lily :(

trigger warning also, mentions of rape and noncon, but nothing explicit

Chapter 1

I'm not entirely sure how to start this, or even if my story merits being told, but I do know is that I now have the freedom to tell it, and for me that is enough.

To begin with let me just say this; I did not want to be his concubine, indeed all five did not choose this life and yet we were forced to live it anyway.

I don't know why he chose me, or how he managed to procure me, but what I do know is that I was another oddity to add to his collection. I was the Fifth Mistress, one of the eldest, sadly, and I was the most rebellious, but that's what happens when you try to force a modern woman into the role of a medieval one.

Hyrule wasn't supposed to be real, I knew the stories, legends I suppose they're called here, and I knew that Link and Zelda always triumphed over Ganondorf. For a time I waited for Link to storm the castle and save me, but that didn't happen. In fact, a lot of things that were supposed to happen didn't happen, and the story I knew so well was so different to the reality I lived. That might have been my fault, or it might've been coincidence, but that also doesn't matter now.

I escaped, and inadvertently set a motion of events into play that no one could've predicted.

Let's start at the beginning shall we?

When the portal first opened up I thought I was hallucinating. Understandable, right? I thought so too, and I also believed myself to be hallucinating when an unrelenting force began pulling me towards it. I was drunk, and Cardiff was cold, and my friends were no where to be seen, I couldn't even recall when I lost them or when the city's building melted away into nothing. I wasn't dressed appropriately for an adventure, but I've come to learn that nothing is appropriate for adventures. They sort of just happen, and I either you go with the flow or get swallowed into nothingness.

I screamed when I got sucked in, naturally, I was terrified, and when I landed it was on a plush carpet that reminded of the colour of blood, a fitting analogy for the location.

There was chanting around me, and with bleary eyes I beheld a sight that shall forever haunt my nightmares.

Ganondorf, in all his glory.

Standing at a staggering 7 and a half feet tall with flaming hair and bulging muscles. He was as menacing as he was intimidating, and already I knew that I wasn't in for what I'd been told in fanfictions.

I wasn't going to live, or at least I didn't think I would, even now I wonder if death would've been a better alternative to what this man made me endure.

"She's pretty," he said in a dark, gravelly voice, "I was expecting a hero, and yet I got a little girl, it is no matter, she shall serve me in her own way," an ominous sentence that I should've paid closer attention to.

I was stripped and washed, forced into silver silks and lace of lingerie before being presented to Ganondorf that very night. I'll spare you the ghastly details, but I will say that I quickly learned my place, whether on the battlefield or in bed.

As I mentioned previously there were others.

His first concubine was Azalea, a towering gerudo woman with skin as dark as night and hair like the sun. She was gorgeous, and the eldest of his concubines at 26. Azalea was clothed in reds and had been in Ganondorf's service the longest, since she was 16. He called upon her when he wanted to be rough, for she was a gerudo and stronger than the rest of us.

The second and third concubines were the twins, Heather and Lavender, dressed in pale purples and greens. Lavender was actually a boy, but Ganondorf didn't care for gender identity, one of his only redeeming qualities, and he was younger than his sister. They were half hylian half gerudo, and had dusky skin with dyed purple hair, but it was they're eye that really stood out. Big, beautiful, and brown, with flecks of gold that glistened in the sun. They were mischievous, and I got along very well with them. They were only 19.

The forth concubine was the most recent one, aside from me, and had only been in service less than a year. Her name was Rose, a pale hylian with long brown curls and vivid green eyes. She wore pink, and was the sweetest thing you'd ever meet. I remember feeling unbridled rage when I found out how old, or young, she was. 15. _15_ years old and already a concubine, I knew Ganondorf was a pervert, but I didn't expect him to be a paedophile as well. Unfortunately, he would continue to surprise me.

And then there was me, concubine number five. Lily he named me, and at 22 I was the second oldest he had procured. He forced me to wear white, and despite the demure purity of my namesake I was anything but. Angry and relentless, he called me his "furious flower" sometimes, and I lived up to it. I quickly discovered that Ganondorf had a particular taste for my defiance, and the fact that I wasn't of this world. I almost wished I had an STD, purely to pass it onto him, that bastard.

The five of us were known throughout the castle, the castle that once housed the noble Royal Family, and I never felt so degraded in my life.

I hated it. I hated him. I hated Hyrule. I hated everything and everyone.

I had loved the Legend of Zelda with all my heart, ever since I was a little girl. I had dreamed of exploring Hyrule, and I had _loved_ this world like nothing else.

He took that away from me, so I would take Hyrule away from him.

Those of you that are reading this might vilify me for the life I was forced to lead, others might applaud my bravery, my strength, but I was so deeply set in my resentment, my desire for revenge, that I barely recognised myself that I didn't and still don't care.

Survival has a way of reducing everything to its bones, and this was no different.

Regardless, this isn't important right now, and I suppose you're wondering how exactly I escaped from Ganondorf, Calamity Ganon, or whatever fucking name he takes. Well, I'll tell you, the whole god damn story, with all its ups and downs and sordid details.

It begins in the castle, on the night he lied to me.

I had been in Hyrule for a few months now, my 23rd birthday may have passed but I wasn't sure and didn't really care.

Ganondorf had called me to his chambers once again, I was a bit surprised, it was Azalea's turn in the rotation, but spontaneity was becoming more and more commonplace in the King of Evil and he had requested my presence far more than usual lately.

I bathed, and dressed myself in my silks and lace, and already planning my verbal ammo to throw at him I walked through the endless corridors of sludgy malice and evil servants. The castle was busier than usual, especially at this late hour, usually this time was reserved for dinner, but Ganondorf had occasionally enjoyed eating and fucking at the same time so it wasn't too unsual.

"My furious flower," that fucking nickname was the worst, "thank you for joining me tonight, you must be hungry," he said, gesturing to the feast before him.

I was hesitant, wondering what he wanted in exchange for with Ganondorf his kindness was always conditional.

Slowly, I approached the table, and gently pulled out the chair beside him.

He slammed his hand on the table, and already I knew this was a dangerous game.

I was used to Ganondorf testing me, used to the minute turn in conversation that led to my purpose being fulfilled. Fear was something I grew accustomed to under his service, and it was the slightest change in his demeanour that signalled what type of service I would have to provide.

My seat was his lap, and I tensely sat down.

His breath was hot on my neck, his hands hot and heavy on my barely clothed skin, and though I had grown used to it I still felt my skin crawl with every touch.

I won't tell you what exactly happened next, it's not hard to guess, but once he was done I made a mistake. This mistake was something that I don't regret, though I did for the longest time, I had always been careful not to reveal what I knew of the legends, but Ganondorf had a way of winding me up, of forcing words out of my mouth I never meant to speak.

"That's not how this legend goes!" I wish I could've swallowed my words, I wish I could've done anything else, because it was with that damning sentence that Ganondorf understood my part in this legend, even if I didn't.

He shouted at me, and I saw his triforce large hand swirl with dark magic, my hair standing on end as the electricity sizzled in the air.

Many people have said that what I did was the start of the rebellion, others said that the goddess herself came to me and directed my actions with a divine hand.

I don't claim to understand the goddess, nor did I think to the future, my only concern at that very moment in time was satisfying the bloodlust inside and the desire to escape.

Ganondorf made a grave mistake in underestimating me, one that he never made again.

I straddled his large lap, my feet not even touching the floor, and as Ganondorf leaned forward to kiss me I reacted, one small hand reached to the meat cleaver, and the other to the boiling oil of his meal.

The next few moments were a blur, there was blood, and screams, and by the time I had fled the room, Ganondorf was down one hand and both eyes.

I blinded him, I cut off the hand that held the triforce of power.

Ganondorf thought he was invincible. I knew he wasn't.

It took me two days to escape the castle, hiding in closets and broom cupboards, and when I finally did leave no one dared stop me.

His minions said nothing, did nothing, and to this day I wonder if Ganondorf let me go.

Hyrule was vast, vaster than anything I had ever seen. I got lost a lot, with a pilfered bow and a rusty sword, I managed to find a dark cloak and sell my expensive jewellery. It was enough to buy some suitable clothing, green cloth and worn leathers.

I had escaped Ganondorf's castle, and now I knew what I needed to do.

I had to find Link.


	2. Chapter 2

hey guys second chapter woo!

Also please tell me what you think? I'm not super confident with the idea of the main character's background but I really want to explore it so I was like what the hell why not?

Also Link is 19 in this, i'm guessing this as his age isn't confirmed yet but I figured that for such a prestigious position as the captain of zelda's guard he must be an adult

Chapter 2

So remember how I said Hyrule is big? Well this place is fucking huge, and yes I am using the present tense because that hasn't changed, I knew that Link would eventually end up in Kakariko, I couldn't guarantee he'd free the divine beasts because that's not actually a requirement to defeat Calamity Ganon, it's just recommended.

But first I had to get there, and the only place I'd actually manage to get to was the Riverside Stable on the south border of Hyrule Field.

Fortunately, the Guardians had ignored me, a blessing I assumed was because they thought I still served Ganon.

I needed a horse. I learned how to ride one when I was a child, but it had been over ten years since I had actually done so, and the life I led previously wasn't really stamina producing.

Literally any horse would've done, but there was one in particular I liked the look of, I think it was the annoyed expression and general malcontent he held that I felt a kinship with.

Once I got the horse I would be able to follow the roads east to Kakariko, but this was all merely theory, first I had to catch the horse.

And by the way, Link makes it look way easier than it actually is.

I had been sneaking in this long grass for a good few minutes, my knees were beginning to get stiff and I think the only reason the horses hadn't spotted me was due to the green cotton I wore and the fact that I smelt like the outside, seeing as how I was now essentially homeless and had to sleep on the ground. At least I wasn't a vagrant. Or maybe I was, and just in denial? I don't know and I really don't care.

I carefully edged up to the horse I had my eye on, ready to pounce onto its back when I felt my nose begin to tingle. Dread rose up within me and I felt my eyes water as I desperately tried to hold back the sneeze that wanted release.

The horses started getting jittery and I knew it was inevitable.

ACHOO!

Sneezes always shake my body like crazy and this was no exception, and at the noise the commotion of hooves started. I groaned heavily, sinking to the ground and cursing my bad luck. Being Ganondorf's concubine was a terrible experience but at least it was easy. Sort of.

I looked up disdainfully at the horses and nearly jumped in surprise, the horse I had my eye one was chewing grass leisurely, and measuring me with the most unimpressed expression I have ever seen on an animal.

Deciding to throw caution to the wind, and also because I had nothing to lose, I opted for approaching the sour horse, mindful of those strong hooves and powerful legs. I really didn't want to get kicked by it.

The horse kept its eye on me, but didn't respond as I crept forward tentatively, hand outstretched to touch its nose. My brain brought parallels to How To Train Your Dragon, and I guess the danger of the situation was similar because this was one mean looking horse.

My hand touched it, softly stroking as the horse glared at me, and I could see the dark coat was littered with scars. I frowned, wondering who would harm such a dreadful animal.

"Hey there," I said softly, trying not to spook the horse, "I kinda need some help if you're down for that?" I decided that treating the horse like an intelligent being would grant me more favours than pissing it off, and considering it already seemed pissed it was a good idea.

Right when I thought we were making a connection I heard a wild hollering behind me, followed by the loud stampeding of angry horses.

I whipped around, attention stolen by the bokoblins' riding towards me at a worrying pace.

"For fucks' sake," I grumbled, feeling adrenaline start to shoot through my body, I quickly glanced at the black horse but he didn't seem too fazed by the bokoblins, or even seemed to know the danger he was in. Or didn't care, either way I didn't think he'd be much help.

I wasn't going to risk trying to ride him, if he kicked me or knocked me off then I would be winded and fighting bokoblins on horseback while winded would be a very bad idea.

My bow was light in my hand and I thanks whatever god was listening that my parents forced me to take archery lessons as a kid, something I carried on with in university.

Fortunately I was a pretty good shot.

I knocked the first arrow and let it fly, piercing one of the bokoblins in the chest and watched as it fell, trampled to death beneath the very horse it rode. One down, three to go.

They had started to swerve, annoyingly, but my aim was pretty good, and I didn't necessarily need to kill them as much as incapacitate. The wolves could finish the job, a morbid thought but it was true.

The second arrow missed, but pierced the saddle strap and the bokoblin slid off with a screech.

I quickly raced forward and stabbed the downed bokoblin with my third arrow in the eye, ripping it out before knocking it again and sending it flying towards another bokoblin, lodging in its eye. Nice. That was lucky.

The final bokoblin was enraged, beady eyes and foaming mouth chattering incessantly at me as it reared its club back, horse sprinting towards me. I steadied myself, reaching behind to grab another arrow when the club came racing towards me.

I narrowly avoided being hit as I fell to the side, shocked that the bokoblin would throw its weapon at me, before I looked up.

The bokoblin was looming over me on its horse, knight's broadsword in its hand and I lmost saw my life flash before my eyes.

A loud neigh interrupted us and I watched on as the black horse from earlier began to stomp the bokoblin to death. It was a gruesome business, and the horse didn't stop until the bokoblin resembled chilli con carne. Gross.

I stood on shaking legs, staggering towards the knight's broadsword, and picking it up with tingling hands. This was the nicest sword I'd seen since Ganondorf, and it wasn't as if the bokoblin needed it, and even if it did I still would've taken it.

It certainly beat my rusty sword.

The black horse was munching grass again, completely unperturbed by the blood covering his hooves or the grim death he had just delivered to the bokoblin.

I retrieved my arrows from around the small battlefield and walked up to the black horse.

He had saved my life, and with a gentle nudge the horse began to accept my petting. I decided to push my luck, as I always did, and mounted the horse.

He whinnied, grunted slightly as he shook his massive body but remained otherwise complacent.

"I guess you're coming with me then," I said as I guided him back to the stables, "what should I call you?"

I looked over the horse, a big black freisien stallion I think, and the most prominent feature he held was the large scar over his blind right eye.

"Scarface?" I suggested, to which he snorted in disgust, "I guess not then, what about Marilyn Manson?" Another snort, "Emo?" Again, he turned down the name, "fine, god, you're picky considering you don't even speak English,"

We had reached the stables by then, and I handed over twenty rupees in exchange for a saddle and bridle, the man helped me put it on the horse before turning to me.

"So you have a name for this guy?" He asked, "I'll confess I'm rather impressed you managed to capture him, most people have failed, even that crazy blonde guy,"

My attention snapped to him, "Crazy blonde guy? Did he tell you his name? I'm looking for someone like that,"

The guy shrugged, "Lonk or something like that? If I was crazy I'd say Link but he died a hundred years ago,"

"That's him!" I shouted in glee, earning a huff from the horse and a weird look from the guy, "Did he tell you where he was going?"

"I don't think it's him, lady, but he did say he was headed to Kakariko," the guy said,

I grinned, "Thanks!" I shouted back as the horse and I galloped off into the wilderness.

"Hey!" I heard distantly, "You didn't name your horse!"

Yeah well, my horse didn't like any name I came up with so we're just gonna ignore that for now.

I had always liked the rain but right then I was cursing it to the high heavens. Kakariko was hours, maybe even days away, and I couldn't check my map because the rain would ruin it. I was hungry, cold, wet, and still unable to give a name to my damn horse.

Currently, I was going off memory of a video game that I hadn't played in nearly a year to find my way. Not recommended but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Horse, who will be referred to as Horse until he gets over himself and accepts a name, seemed unperturbed by the rain, cantering onward with little complaint as we made our way through Hyrule.

We passed by the Twin Peaks Stables, and I could see that the tower for the area had been activated, which meant that Link had made his way through here. I didn't know how recently, but from what I had learned by talking to people he had passed he was making his way to Kakariko on foot.

I didn't know how fast he could walk, or maybe even run, but I assumed that a cantering horse was faster than a short hylian.

I would catch up to him, and then somehow convince him I knew the future and make sure Calamity Ganon was defeated.

I know what you're thinking, why not just let the lil elf boy get on with it himself?

And my answer to that is this; Ganondorf doesn't exist in Breath of the Wild, only Calamity Ganon. This had led me to believe that there were significant differences in this reality to the game itself, and that I had to ensure Link won. This was _real_, guys, not just pixels on a screen but honest to god _real_. And my selfish desire for revenge was still pushing me forward.

I couldn't leave the other concubines in Ganon's clutches either, that life is a terrible one, and I knew I couldn't storm the castle myself.

So I would follow the same formula as always, Zelda get kidnapped, Link become hero and fights Ganon, the day is saved, hooray!

And if I got to fuck up Ganon's life in the process, then, well, I guess that's a bonus.

But first I had to find that god damn hero boy and I had no idea where he was in relation to me. I wish I had a sheikah slate, or even an annoying fairy to guide me. But I had nothing, except Horse, and he wasn't exactly a useful companion.

Well, I guess that isn't true, he could run for miles and decimate bokoblins in seconds.

But Horse had his limitations, just as I had mine, and one of those limitations was my ability to navigate Hyrule in the pouring rain. I wasn't even certain _which_ Hyrule I was in, or more precisely _when_.

Life had a way of complicating everything, and determination can only get one so far. I had spent so much time relying on Ganondorf, and I was relying, however unwanted it was, that I'd almost forgotten how to survive by myself.

Gods, I was such a mess.

Kakariko was still a dream away, or at least I think it was, even now navigation isn't my best skill, but I was growing weary and so was Horse.

The rain wasn't letting up and the sun was beginning to set, we'd have to call it a day or risk getting lost (or more lost rather). I dreaded the stalkoblins that popped up in the darkness, and I wouldn't be able to light a fire tonight.

It would be me and horse, huddling together for warmth.

Just as I was starting to lose hope of finding a place to stop, I saw a fuzzy light in the distance, and fuzzy light meant person, which in turn meant security.

Horse also felt reinvigorated at the sight as he began a short canter towards the light.

I was so excited, but weary of who the individual may be.

What if they were an axe murderer? Or a thief? They could even be a servant of Ganondorf, and it was that thought that made me pull back on Horse's reins.

If they were a servant of evil then surely they'd return me to him?

But I was pretty much only recognised in the castle, and my drastically different outfit might be enough to mask my identity.

Besides, I was cold and tired, so I figured I'd take my chances.

The trees became thick, but we soon arrived at our destination and upon closer inspection I realised the light was emitting from a small window and not a campfire.

Hesitation entered Horse's gait again, and I felt it thrum through me too. I was really worried at being found out, not only for my own safety but also from the shame of my previous occupation. I was a glorified whore, a fucktoy to the most evil man in existence and yet he provided a life of material luxury for me.

I was terrified of what people would think, and that fear held me back from being honest about the abuse I suffered at his hand. It was this same fear that had me loitering by the cabin.

But the rain was so heavy and I was so cold.

Swallowing back my nerves, I dismounted Horse and led him to the small stables next to the cabin before taking a deep breath and knocking on the door.

Moments passed, and I began to doubt being answered until the shuffling of small feet suggested life in the cabin. The door opened and I actually had to look down, something I wasn't used to as I barely reached five feet myself.

An old woman peered up at me, her wrinkles were deep lines like canyons and her eyes were heterochromatic, one blue and the other green, with cat-like slits. Her white hair matched my own, but where Ganondorf had altered mine with magic to resemble the colour of my flower namesake her's appeared to be natural.

She cackled at me, and spoke in a raspy voice, "Finally, you're here,"

I was confused, "What? I don't know you,"

She shook her head and the beads decorating her hair clacked together noisily, "nonsense, you and I have known each other since the beginning, maybe not here and maybe not now, but we've been here," she turned around and the distinct waft of spices assaulted me and made my eyes water, whatever she was cooking smelled delicious, "come in, silly girl,"

Shaking my head, I stepped into her home, questioning my own reasoning at trusting this crazy lady.

"So how do we know each other?" I questioned, sitting on a cushion in front of her low table as she handed me a bowl of stew. I also noticed the large glass of milk she set down in front of me, something I was grateful for as soon as I took my first sip of the stew. It was so spicy! And vaguely reminded me of a tagine.

The old woman waved my question off, "The 'how' doesn't matter, nor does the 'why', but rather it is the 'what' that must be answered,"

"Great, I understood none of that,"

"Understanding is simply a piece of the puzzle, you seek the hero, yes?" She said.

I contemplated lying, but there was something about this little old lady that charmed me and set me at ease. She was familiar, like an old relative I hadn't seen in a while.

The truth was necessary, "yep," I said.

She nodded, "I thought so, you always are,"

"right," I responded, as if I understood what she meant.

"he passed by here, confused and cold, looking for your destination,"

"he's going to Kakariko, that's good, I'm hoping to catch up to him," I said,

The old woman cackled again, "and what will you say when you do?"

I hadn't actually thought that far ahead, and my speechless expression told the old woman as much, but my speciality is winging it and hoping for the best. Probably not the greatest idea considering my situation but Ganondorf was anything but predictable, so adaptability was a skill that I quickly learned in the art of survival.

"I'm not sure," I said honestly.

The old woman shrugged, the layers of her shawls moving heavily with her, "that's something you struggle with, isn't it? Ever since he got a hold of you,"

It was callous but true, and I felt anger rising within me. I remember reading once that anger was a secondary emotion, and that the root of the problem was the first emotion, so that was the one you needed to deal with.

But I couldn't identify the first emotion so I would deal with the anger first.

"I'm going to kill him," I said fiercely, "and I know Link is supposed to be the one to do it, but god damn it, that will not stop me from trying!" My first pounded heavily on the table and I froze at the familiar motion, memories of Ganondorf's anger flashing through my mind.

It took a few moments, but I managed to regain control of myself, and the old woman seemed unperturbed by my momentary lapse in sanity.

She was gauging me, but not judging, and that was a comfort.

"It will not be easy," she warned, "and the road will be long and tough, as it usually is, but the power you hold is not to be underestimated, dark sister, for this has happened countless times,"

I frowned, "like the different legends?"

"you only know half the legend, and it is through the memory of years gone by that you will learn the future," she said cryptically. I wanted to huff, why couldn't she just be straight with me?!

I began to argue but she hushed be with a wave of her hand, and that was when I felt exhaustion sweep over me.

My head fell forward heavily into my stew and I was out like a light.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey so we meet link in this chapter

Chaper 3

The old woman had cleaned the stew off my face, and out of my hair which I was grateful for, I'd never actually just fallen asleep like that before but I'd never been so exhausted in my life.

Well, I had, but that's a whole other bag of cats.

When Ganondorf had first told me where I was I didn't believe it. When he had told me what my duty was I didn't believe it. When he told me that I couldn't wake up because I wasn't dreaming I didn't believe it. So I stayed awake for three days, just to prove to him and myself that I would wake up, because you can't sleep properly when you're in a dream. I was wrong, but I soon got used to the feeling.

The old woman had told me her name was Ezenya and that she was a wise woman from ancient times that predated history. Okay, I just nodded and accepted it, I quickly learned that arguing with her was not only ridiculous but also not conducive to anything productive. I just assumed she was mad.

She gave me a weird blue poncho that actually looked kinda cool and said it would come in use, again I didn't argue, but I did thank her for her hospitality and prepared Horse to leave.

Ezenya packed me some food, the bag heavy but sturdy as I tied it to Horse's saddle, lamenting his lack of name again.

"You still haven't named him?" Ezenya said, breaking my train of thought.

I shook my head, "he rejects every name I give,"

"I thought as much, indeed he has always been fussy," she said,

"You know him too?"

Ezenya smiled fondly, and I watched in surprise as Horse lowered his head to let her pet him, "I have known every creature in this land, he is no different,"

"What do you think I should name him?" I asked her,

Horse whinnied to Ezenya, enjoying the attention he received, and it seemed as if a private, secret moment passed between the two, like the barest hint of chinese whispers.

"He likes the name Valentine," Ezenya stated,

I snorted, much like Horse did too, "that was the next name I was going to suggest,"

"I know," she said sagely, her unusual eyes turning back to Valentine, "he does too,"

"right," I said, for lack of anything better to say.

"Be careful, dark sister, for the night is dark and full of terrors," Ezenya said, I bit back my snarky response of knowing terror too well, "we will meet again,"

Somehow, I didn't doubt it.

The sky was much clearer now, and the young sun lended its brightest rays to light our path. Both Horse and I were renewed with vigour, our daunting task of finding the wanderlusting hylian filled with hope once more.

Ezenya's words swam around my mind, both confusing and enlightening at the same time. We had never met, at least to my knowledge, but I was beginning to approach the same thought John Mulaney had 'Adult life is so weird this might as well just happen', unfortunately that statement was something I was becoming well accustomed to.

I had been in Hyrule for nearly a year and I missed my friends and family desperately, but they felt disconnected to me now, like when you think of your childhood best friend. Deep nostalgia encased me regularly, but even the mere thought of them seeing me as I was then was too much to bear. I didn't want to see my mother's tear-streaked face when she found out I was Ganondorf's concubine, and I didn't want to see my father's sorrow filled eyes when he found out he couldn't protect me. They already felt they failed me once, a second time would be unbearable.

God, he really fucked me up.

But I didn't have time to be lamenting my woes, even if my time was mostly filled with silent contemplation when I wasn't chattering nonsensically to Valentine. At least he had a name now, though it was spooky how Ezenya picked the name I was going to give him.

But Ezenya herself had a spooky air about her, so I suppose it is fitting.

I had been searching for Link for three days and I was already bored after the first three minutes, but I had to persevere, I don't even know what compelled me to seek him out first instead of just going for Ganon myself.

There was self preservation, Ganon is the great evil that apparently only Link could defeat, but when you spend months and months without an end in sight boiling in hatred and fear, and misplaced compassion because let's face it Ganondorf is a manipulative bastard who reminded me that he could be kind, you kinda develop obsessive compulsions. I was already obsessive before him, but the unstable nature of our relationship skyrocketed me into the stratosphere of crazy.

See? I had escaped his clutches and he _still_ demanded my attention.

Anyway, I had to find Link, and according to my map Kakariko wasn't far away, I turned around to wave Ezenya goodbye one last time but to my surprise there was no cabin in sight. There wasn't even a forest.

I turned back around, and then looked behind me again, still seeing green pastures. I did this a few more times before wondering if I imagined the whole thing up, but the blue poncho I wore was proof that our meeting had transpired.

I figured this was another one of Ezenya's quirks, even if this was a little bit more than cryptic language, I decided to let it slide, and for those of you that suggest maybe I should do otherwise then I direct you to the previous John Mulaney quote.

Link couldn't be far from me now, and even if he had already reached Kakariko I knew that Impa would probably keep him occupied for a bit, especially if he stayed to help the shiekah with their lil quests. And if he had already gone then Impa could probably direct me in which direction he had left in, not exactly a solid plan but I'm not really a solid plan kinda girl.

God, my thighs were aching. Horseback is surprisingly taxing, especially when you're spread over a massive horse.

Yeah, that sentence sounded bad to me too.

Anyway! I keep getting side-tracked! Back to the actual important bits of the story!

I eventually made my way into Kakariko, and met a really weird talking tree along the way, and Valentine seemed content to graze on the grass just outside of the village. I didn't worry about him wandering off, he had proven to be lazy as well as loyal.

Kakariko Village is one of the nicest places I'd ever been.

There was a gently breeze that filtered through the valley it lay in, one that reminded me of my home in Wales, and provided relief to the sweltering sun overhead.

There was an old woman right near the entrance who had informed that a short blonde hylian had indeed passed through and was on his way to Impa's house.

I punched the air in triumph, ignoring the weird look she gave me, so I thanked her and slowly jogged down the hill towards Impa's house; the most stately house in the village and quite clearly her house.

There were chickens everywhere, or cuccoos as they are called here for the noise they make, and it took a bit of manoeuvring for me not to step on them as they ran around erratically, seemingly intent on getting in my way. I cursed Link for not having wrangled them into their pen yet.

"They like you!" Said a joyful man to my right as I contemplated booting a cuccoo all the way to Hyrule castle.

Thankfully, he couldn't hear my less than polite thoughts, "yeah, but they like being underfoot more," I said dryly.

The man laughed, "not usually, I've been having trouble catching them actually," I watched the cogs turn in his head and the lightbulb moment he had, "say! Why don't you catch them all for me? I'll pay you!"

I mentioned previously that I'm short on the tasty dollar dollar bills, or rupee rupee gems? Either way, declining the man's offer wasn't in my best interest, besides I had to wait for Link to leave Impa's house anyway and if I could make some cash on the side then that's good.

And so began my sordid task of being the chicken chaser, I really hope that doesn't catch on.

Look! It's Lily the Chicken Chaser! Isn't she so brave!? Wrangling all those...chickens…

Yeah that didn't sound to good, though it was preferable to The King of Evil's Concubine, by a long shot actually.

The first few chickens weren't so bad, and no I will not call them cuccoos unless out loud, I had grown up with chickens so I was relatively okay with gathering them up but god damn when a chicken want to get away from you they were nimble.

Five of them were okay, almost easy, but the remaining two seemed hellbent on making my life miserable, though they were probably less than enthused by my talk of roasting them. Hey, I wasn't actually going to do it, but they were so annoying and occasionally you need to strike fear into the hearts of those you chase to capture them.

That made me sound like Ganondorf.

Fuck Ganondork.

One of the chickens was in the plum garden, you know the one that's watched scrupulously by that lady Mellie? Yeah well she was like a hawk and even threatened bodily harm to me should I dare step foot in her precious plum garden.

It was annoying, and I thought it laughable Mellie thought she could intimidate me, but I had a soft spot for old ladies, and so I would respect her demand, to a certain degree at least. You see there was a tree by the plum garden, one that had overhanging branches that dipped low to the ground on the other side and could potentially support the weight of a small woman.

You can probably see where this is going.

I climbed that tree, as you do, and carefully shimmied along its branches until I was directly above the chicken. Leaning down, I tried to swipe at the chicken but alas I was too short.

And that was when I had another brilliant idea.

Carefully, I manoeuvred myself to be upside down and hanging onto the branch by my legs and only my legs. The blood rushed to me head and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold this position long, especially as Mellie eyed my critically from her stalwart position.

I reached down, and managed to gently nudge the chicken, my face breaking into a grin, but that unfortunately wasn't the only thing that broke.

My eyes went wide as I came crashing down to earth, and my ears began ringing as Mellie screeched horror as my clumsy nature.

I didn't think, I scooped the chicken up, ignoring it's squawking and nipping, before bolting over the fence, passing by Link an-

Passing by Link?!

Skidding to a halt, I whipped around and came face to face with the grinning hylian, casually leaning against the fence of the plum garden as he regarded me with interest and amusment.

"Carry on, you're saving me a job by doing this," he said cheekily, and I barked out a disbelieving laugh at his boyish charm.

Dang, this guy was cute.

"I've been following you!" I blurted out, my face contorting in amused horror as I realised how that sounded, "I'm not a stalker, I swear," word vomit, "oh that sounds bad too," I winced, the chicken was getting impatient in my arms and making her distress known.

Link chuckled, "yeah, you're not painting yourself in a good light,"

"I never do, it's a curse," I replied, glaring at the chicken that was trying to maim me, "alright fine, I'll put you down! Damn hellbeast!" I shouted, throwing the chicken away from me before remembering I need it.

I watched in mortification as it ran right back into Mellie's plum garden, my shout of despair echoing around me.

Link was still leaning against the fence, but he gracefully bent over it and scooping the chicken up into his arms, gently petting it's ruffled feathers as he soothed it. It was funny how he could do that, calm an animal as if by magic.

He walked over to me, "c'mon, I'll help you finish this, and then we can have a chat, hmm?"

I nodded gratefully, "thanks, the last one is on top of the clothes store and I haven't worked out how to get it yet,"

Link smirked, "I think I can help with that,"

The chicken guy, who I later learned was called Cado, thanked Link as he gently placed the chicken in the pen, before Link and I turned our attention to the last chicken.

The last chicken that was currently giving me the run around was the one that decided to make itself comfortable on top of the clothing shop. How it even got up there in the first place was a mystery to me, but Link didn't seem disheartened at all, and he quickly climbed the large hill that led to the now blue shrine.

And then he jumped off the cliff.

A normal person would've shouted, or gasped, but I am not normal and responded thusly, "Do a flip!"

To his credit, Link did a sick flip before whipping out a medieval paraglider and landing lightly on the roof.

He picked the chicken up and threw it down to me, landing heavily in my arms and ruffling my hair with its flapping wings. I grinned up at him as he jumped off the roof and joined me at the pen, placing the last chicken in and praying to whatever god listened that I'd never have to do that again.

Cado was gleeful, "Thank you so much! I never could've done it alone!" I smiled back, which turned to a grin when Cado handed twenty rupees to me, "You and you're boyfriend are such a help,"

Mortification mounted over me, as it did to Link because we spoke abruptly in unison, "he's not my boyfriend!"

"She's not my girlfriend!"

Cado merely waved us off with a cheeky grin, "ah well, say lass, what did you say your name was again?"

"Lily," I said, no last name as you can see.

Cado grinned, "Lily the Cucco Chaser!"

I groaned as Link laughed behind his hand.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"So you want to come with me? How do you even know all this?" Link was sceptical of me and my intentions, which was completely understandable.

We were sitting in Kakariko's little picnic area, munching on stew Link had whipped up with some fish we had caught. It was fantastic, by the way, Link was a brilliant cook.

I looked around, conscious of who could overhear, as I leaned in and gestured for Link to do the same, "What I tell you now must be kept in complete confidence, okay?"

Link nodded eagerly, his eyes wide yet serious as he understood my desire to keep our conversation secret between us.

Blinking, I took a deep breath, "I escaped Hyrule Castle," Link lurched backwards, and his playful demeanour immediately switched to one of suspicion.

"What do you mean you escaped?" He said critically.

I sighed, "It's a long story, so I'll give you the spark notes,"

"The what?"

"Nevermind, it's a figure of speech, I'll tell you the short version," I clarified, "I was forced to be a servant of Ganon's, and emphasis on the _forced_, please, but I managed to get away, and now I need to make sure he gets taken down,"

Link was still sceptical, "why? Wouldn't you rather live peacefully in a village?"

I shook my head vehemently, "absolutely not! I know what it is like to live in fear, forced to serve one you hate because you are powerless to stop them!" This was getting hard to say, but I didn't need to give Link any details, "It is a fate I don't want to happen to anyone else, and I have experienced the Calamity first hand, I know how to fight him, and I can't just sit by while this evil pervades the world,"

My words were strong and true, and Link seemed to believe my desire to fight, "I understand," he said, and for a moment he slumped, arms holding up his heavy head, "and to be honest, I have no idea what I'm doing, I don't even recognise this world," he sounded so despondent, like someone had given him all he wanted and then snatched it away.

"let me help you," I implored, "I can fight, and I wont get in the way,"

Link looked up at me, thoughts swirling behind his big blue eyes, and I could see that he was considering my proposition.

"It'll be dangerous," he said,

"so is being a servant to evil," I countered,

"you won't be the same afterwards,"

"I should hope not,"

Link sighed again, "you might lose your life,"

"he already took that from me," my voice was raw but powerful, even as I whispered my response and I could see the effect it had on Link.

He looked forlorn, a bone deep sadness of empathy that radiated towards me, and I nearly jumped as he reached across the table and laid a comforting hand on my forearm.

"alright," he conceded, "if you feel that you need to do this then I can't stop you, besides" he pulled back then, mouth relaxing into a cheeky grin, "I could use the company,"

I grinned back at him, grateful that our conversation was light again, "brilliant! Where are we going first?"

Link began to pull out his sheikah slate but hesitate, gauging my reaction to the technology, as if I wasn't familiar with it. I was, but he didn't know that.

"c'mon, I lived in Hyrule Castle, that place is rife with sheikah technology," I said, encouraging Link with just show me the slate.

He did, setting it on the table between us, and I realised how similar it was to a smart phone or tablet from my world.

Link began to operate it and zoomed in on a familiar place.

"This is Zora's Domain, apparently the Divine Beat Vah Ruta is causing irregular weather patterns, I'm going to wrestle back control from the Calamity," he explained.

I nodded, "if we pass through Sahasra Slope to the west then we could follow the road to the Lanayru Wetlands and then onto the domain," I suggested.

Link smiled, "sounds good, you been there before?"

I rose a cynical brow at him, "Ganondorf didn't like us to wander,"

"Ganondorf?" He parroted and then I realised that Link literally knew next to nothing about his enemy.

My knowledge was definitely going to come in use, "That's his mortal form, a 7'6" gerudo sorceror with a really nasty attitude,"

Link looked surprised as he began to clear away our dishes, packing up the rest of the stew into his pouch for later, "you met him personally?"

I nodded, disdain clear on my face, "unfortunately,"

He looked like he wanted me to elaborate, but honestly I wasn't ready to tell Link the sordid details of my relationship with Ganondorf, I had only gained a bit of his trust and didn't want to lose it so soon. Especially as I couldn't guarantee he'd keep me around if he knew I was the Evil King's bedfellow.

I fought back a gag as my brain reminded me once more of my previous occupation.

Fortunately, Link let it drop, and together we walked towards Kakariko's eastern entrance to get our horses.

"This is Epona," Link said, smiling fondly as he petted the beautiful mare that came up to him naturally. She adored him, and he her, I could tell even with my eyes closed.

I envied their relationship, "she's lovely," I stroked her mane, "and so sweet!"

Link chuckled, "yeah, she was having trouble with bokoblins when I found her but I managed to help her get away,"

Nodding, I waved Valentine over, who seemed less than amused by our companions, "this is Valentine," I introduced,

Valentine snorted, eyes narrowing dangerously at Link, "he's...uhh..." he didn't want to be rude so I would just do it for him.

"He's a bastard, but he's my bastard," I said lovingly, stroking Valentine's nose and soothing his gnarly scars, "he saved me from a bokoblin, pummelled the poor thing into a paste with his hooves,"

"That's rather...unusual," Link said as he mounted Epona.

I nodded, "yeah, but he saved my life, even if he's a grouchy old git,"

"you sound as if you don't like him,"

"the feeling is mutual, besides," I mounted Valentine, clicking my tongue to trot him forward as he sniffed at Epona, "you can love someone and not like them,"

Link didn't respond to that, but he did eye me critically, as if fitting another piece to the puzzle of Lily in his head. And before you ask, no I'm not in love with Ganondorf, the mere thought is enough to make me gag, but I had experienced loving someone and not liking them. It's rather painful.

I wasn't sure what to expect when I first met Link.

When I was a young teenager I had dreamed of this moment, of running through Hyrule with the hero and saving the day, but reality is so much _slower_ than you'd expect.

He was surprisingly talkative, though I'm not sure if that was just me as I find I can talk to most people easily, especially someone around me age, but I guess I always figured Link to be rather quiet. Or contemplative at least, and while he didn't waste words or throw them around liberally like I did he still let them flow with ease. It was nice, the most conversation I had recently was either with Ganondorf or the other concubines, and certain topics were off-limits. Link just let me babble at him mostly, and it was refreshing, to not be punished for the merest action.

That sounds messed up, and that's because it was, but it was also a small comfort I had taken for granted before Ganondorf.

Zora's Domain was about a two days ride away, give or take, depending on the weather and how many enemies we would encounter on the way.

And speaking of the weather, it was raining again, but I suppose the wetlands were called the wetlands for a reason, and that reason was the incessant rain that poured constantly. It was like we were just in one endless shower, my fingertips had turned to prunes long ago.

Fortunately, Link had also grown tired of the rain, so I wasn't alone in my discontent.

We had turned right at the Millenio Sandbar, with Hylia River to our backs, and began the dreary journey through the heart of the Lanayru Wetlands, crossing over the limited land available and trying hard not to fall into the large lake beneath it.

There was a shrine here, Daka Tuss shrine I think, and I knew Link wanted to beat if, but I personally was more focused on fighting of the lizalfos of the central island than finding some shiny rock. But I knew it was important to him, and that the more shiny rocks Link collected from the old shiekah dudes in the shrines then the stronger he would get.

I wish it worked that way for me, but I imagined that my user interface would only ever contain three hearts and one stamina wheel, maybe some temporary yellow hearts if I was lucky.

And so I dropped Link off at the shrine and prepared to fight of the lizalfos that were determined to eat me.

Not a cheery thought, but a necessary one.

Anway, so Link was messing around in that god damn shrine which left me to fight off as many lizalfos as humanly possible whilst also trying to avoid their shock arrows. The only good part of this is that when I eventually killed them I would be able to take their arrows, which I desperately needed as my own supply was dwindling. I'd have to buy more when we got to the domain.

There were three lizalfos trying to ruin my life, two armed with bows and tasty, tasty shock arrows, and the other one armed with a rusty longsword which did not look tasty at all.

Valentine was as always dtf (down to fight) so I didn't have to worry about him sprinting off, but he seemed more concerned protecting Epona instead of me. Cheating asshole.

The first lizalfos descended upon me and I prepared my bow, knocking the first arrow and firing off straight into the lizalfos' mouth. I winced as warm blood sprayed over me, but the lizalfos was dead, its rusty longsword useless against long-range combat.

That was why I enjoyed having a bow, because I could shoot someone before they managed to reach me.

The two other lizalfos squawked in anger as their comrade fell to the ground, wadding up big balls of venomous spit to launch at me but fortunately I was fast enough to dodge them, only just though, as I narrowly avoided being splattered with it.

I knocked another arrow, preparing to have to dodge and aim at the same time as both lizalfos followed suit and pointed their arrows of death in my direction.

The rain was so heavy, and if one of those arrows so much as scraped me or anything attached to me then I'd be electrocuted.

God, I wish Link would hurry up.

Timing was of the essence, and I could see a few other lizalfos in the distance peak out of the water in interest, watching with keen eyes if their kin needed help, or perhaps if they would share the human meat they were about to cook up.

We stared at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.

The flex of the left lizalfos' muscle was all the queue I needed, and I dashed forward in roll, closing the distance between us as the water entered my boots and the shock arrow flew above me. I grabbed the lizalfos around the neck as it desperately tried to knock a second arrow, spinning around just in time for the other lizalfos' shock arrow to pierce its kin's hide.

I let go instantly, arm thrumming with the electricity that managed to catch me. The lizalfos fell forward into the water, but I already had my second arrow knocked, and let it fly into the second lizalfos.

Dead, all three of them, but the other lizalfoses that had been watching with keen interest were swimming very quickly towards me.

I quickly gathered the shock arrows dropped by the ones I had killed, and began firing rapidly into the water at the moving bodies.

Lightning flashed around me, and bodies rose to the water's surface at an alarming rate. I was forever thankful for physics, even if Hyrule broke many laws I had believed to be concrete, there were exceptions that I could rely on and the law of conductivity was one of them.

And Link still hadn't finished that fucking shrine, I must've been fighting for near thirty minutes and wanted to get some more fish for lunch.

Yes, I was thinking about food but you burn up a lot of energy when you're fighting for you life and food can be consumed for energy.

That almost sounded like that Simpsons screenshot, you know, the one where Homer says "money can be exchanged for goods and services," well so can food.

I couldn't see any other enemies directly near me, and those that where had either met an untimely end or ran away in fear.

I swam out into the water, collecting arrows and lizalfos tails as well as any other bits and bobs they dropped off. My favourite part of winning a battle is that you get to pillage the rewards afterwards, Link said it was technically theft as their items should've gone to next of kin or whatever but they're servants of evil and besides Link did it too.

Finally, _finally_, Link emerged from the shrine and did a double take as he took my appearance.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I shrugged, "I got a fuckton of shock arrows, like thirty, or something, I don't know, maths was never my strong suit,"

Link's brows shot up into his hairline before came walking over to me and began counting the arrows in my quiver.

"thirty six, that's quite a bit, how'd you manage that?" He was surprised, and I guess I would be to considering he just left me to fight a few lizalfos and nothing more.

Grinning, I gestured to the bodies that lay around us, "these lizalfos thought they could take me on, but God nerfed them not me so it didn't work out,"

He mounted Epona as I did Valentine, chuckling at my words, "I only understand half the things that come out of your mouth, you know that right?"

I nodded, "You and everyone else on this planet, honey,"

"planet?"

"yeah, planet," I halted momentarily, looking at Link with one brow raised, "do you think the earth is flat?"

Link laughed, "of course it's flat!"

Oh no, Link was a flat earther.


	5. Chapter 5

Is anyone even reading this? No? Well idc I'm enjoying writing it so I'm gonna carry on, I would really like to hear from you guys though, just a lil bit even a complaint? Pls I'm an attention whore and I need th n

Chapter 5

"Link! Stop getting in the way!" I screeched in indignition as Link narrowly avoided being skewered with my arrow.

"Lily! Stop aiming the wrong way!" He shouted back, before doing a super sick backflip to avoid the hinox's flailing arm.

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

I'm sure Link probably said something snappy in response but I was too busy trying to avoid the hinox's makeshift tree club to listen, and he seemed to be ignoring Link for now and coming after me. I figured that was because I was sticking him with arrows and to be honest if a tiny woman was shooting toothpicks at me I'd also try and take her out so I didn't blame him.

We had just managed to leave the wetlands, and after Link scaled a tower to log it onto his shiekah slate we were currently on our way to meet with the Zora prince. Link did try to get me to climb the tower too but I really didn't want to do that, not only because I hate heights, but also because I was scared of running out of breath and falling to my death. Besides, it's not as if _I_ actually needed to go up the tower.

Anyway, Link glided down and we went on our merry way, we needed to cross over Inogo bridge but we got lost in the hills and rain and manage to wake a particularly unpleasant black hinox that really didn't appreciate us disturbing his slumber.

"Duck!" I yelled and loosed my arrow, assuming Link would do as I say.

Fortunately, he did and the arrow struck true in the hinox's eyes, and he stumbled back stunned, giving Link an opening to start slashing with his sword.

The hinox roared in anger, and pain too I imagine, before it reared back and brought a big hand down on Link.

"Link!" I screamed, worried for my friend's safety, and knocked another arrow, this time a shock one, to stun the hinox and drag Link out.

The arrow didn't pierce the eye, but it was a shock arrow and stunned the hinox long enough for me to sprint in and grab Link, who stumbled backwards with me on staggering feet. He was very disorientated, and the mud beneath our feet was incredibly slippery, but I managed to haul Link back far enough to avoid the hinox slamming the ground where we had been.

Link was almost dead weight, and I figured he wasn't going to be much use in this battle any more, which meant I had to kill this in-world boss. No pressure then?

I dodged the hinox, stunning it again with a shock arrow, and propped Link up against a tree out of the way from where we were fighting. He could still see me, and I see him, but it was far enough away that the hinox would ignore him. At least, I hoped it would.

The hinox roared again, stomping the ground as I fire another arrow into his eye before dashing forward and slashing at it with my soldier's broadsword.

I sincerely hoped the hinox was nearly dead, I was beginning to feel exhaustion seeping into my bones and a quick glance at Link reminded me that he was in no position to fight right now. I was half tempted to fire an arrow towards Inogo bridge in the vain hope a zora would see it and come and help me.

Actually, that wasn't a bad idea.

Dodging again, I avoided the hinox and knocked a shock arrow, the hinox covered its eye in assumption but I raised my bow hire and let the arrow soar far above the hinox's head and over the tree line, towards Inogo bridge.

I couldn't guarantee that it would work, but it was better than nothing.

The hinox reared back again and swatted me with its hand, sending me flying back into a tree with a heavy huff, my head swimming as I lay in a puddle, trying to breath without pain. I sorely hoped my ribs weren't broken.

The next few moments happened in a blur.

First, a massive ice block sprung up from the puddle I lay in and blocked me from the tree the hinox threw at me, saving my life and allowing me just enough time to stagger over to Link, who was wide awake with hazy eyes and holding the shiekah slate in a shaking hand.

Second, the hinox fell down to the ground heavily, shaking everything in the near vicinity and send a tidal wave of puddle water over Link and I. The hinox's massive eye swivelled up to meet my own pair and with a final wheeze, I watched the life leave it.

Third, and finally, a tiny little old lady came pattering out of the tree line, her wrinkled face familiar and surprising in such a setting.

Ezenya was not impressed.

"You are not supposed to die here!" She yelled at me, her voice so loud and scratchy compared to her frail body, though I was beginning to think her frail appearance was a mask to hide the powerful monster within.

I coughed, my ribs aching with the effort, and readjusted Link's arm around my shoulders, he was heavy, but I'm pretty sure he had a concussion and needed the extra balance.

"Ezenya..." I wheezed out, and realised then that I needed Link to support my body as much as I was supporting him, like two cards holding each other up.

The old woman waddled over to me, whacking my ankle lightly with her staff, "you found your hero, girl, but be sure not to lose yourself, whether that be your life or not is up to you!"

Again, her words were wise but cryptic and I really wasn't certain I could deal with this bullshit right now, even if she somehow managed to kill the black hinox that nearly killed Hyrule's destined champion and some random woman just following him around.

Ezenya muttered something under her breath before reaching into her masses of shawls and procuring a bottle of something red. A red potion, I think, I don't remember seeing them in Breath of the Wild, but then again I don't remember seeing Ezenya either.

"Drink this, and you both will be restored," she said.

I nodded gratefully, thanking her, before shuffling Link again to awkwardly uncork the bottle and downed half the liquid inside. Link's head was lolling dangerously, eyes half open, but I managed to right him enough to place the bottle at his lips and pour the liquid into his mouth. I watched his adam's apple bob, making sure he actually drunk the potion.

When the potion was finished I turned back to Ezenya to return it to her, but she was no where in sight, vanished once again into the mystery of Hyrule.

I didn't question it again.

Link was starting to come around, and with a few shakes of his head his vision cleared up and eyed the area we had fought it.

"We won?" He asked me, still leaning on me.

I giggled, "barely, but yeah we did, you got a concussion but I gave you a potion, feel better?" I asked, prodding his head with my finger.

Link smiled, grasping my prodding hand and squeezing it, "yeah, thanks, I saw you hit a tree, are you okay?"

I nodded too, "yes, I'm fine, I had half of the potion and gave you the rest," it was then I noticed that we were still holding each other and as warm as Link was I was uncomfortable with the closeness and instantly dropped his hand, stepping back into my own comfortable personal bubble, "you saved my life, that ice block stopped the tree the hinox threw at me,"

Link retracted into himself as well, and whatever moment we were having before ended, "I don't even remember doing that," he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, "but I'm glad you're alive,"

"you too," I said, gathering our fallen weapons and walking towards Inogo bridge, "we're close to the brigde, we should get going,"

"right," Link said and took the lead.

I don't know what happened, but I as I mention earlier once the potion had fulfilled its purpose and our lives were no longer on the brink, I felt suddenly uncomfortable with the lack of space between us. I used to be quite physically affectionate, and I never minded Link laying a hand on my arm or shoulder, usually to guide me or stop me from walking into something, but I began to feel suffocated.

Like everything else wrong with me, I blamed Ganondorf. I never minded physical affection with the other concubines, it was expected and we were all really close so the idea of sharing a bed and cuddling was comforting, but I think apart of that came back to survival. We were not allowed to be touched, or even spend time really, by anyone else, and so we all clung together, and helped each other through the abuse.

But that wasn't the issue. Link was so _familiar_, so painfully familiar and that thought terrified me. I didn't know him until a few days ago and already he had set me at ease and treated me like a good friend. I wasn't used to it, not any more, and every time we grew closer Ganondorf's face would take over my mind, as if I was betraying _him_, and betraying Link for even associating with the enemy in any capacity.

This was a shitshow and I was the ring leader.

You're also probably wondering where are horses are, right? We actually left them at the Wetland Stable, just before entering the wetlands properly after finding the shrine.

Our path was too difficult for our horses to tread and the enemies we encountered constantly were too much of a threat to lead them through.

So we continued on foot, and now we had finally reached Inogo bridge!

The rain still fell heavily, but our path was clearer now that we had a road to follow, and the bridge was very distinguishable so we couldn't miss it.

"Hey! You!" A voice called out, a very nice voice that I instantly liked, "Up top! Above you!"

Link and I both looked up, shielding our eyes from the rain, when the zora jumped down, doing a cool flip, which might I add always scores on points in my book, and landing gracefully on the ground before us.

I'm not ashamed to say this, but my jaw practically hit the _floor_.

Zoras aren't usually my cup of tea, but damn I could make an exception for Prince Sidon. I was taken with him instantly, he so insanely _attractive_. Like, I literally cannot emphasis this any more but my thoughts immediately went into the gutter and wow guys, I was so speechless.

Sidon was talking to Link, I think he directed his questions to him because I was opening and closing my mouth like a stupid fish, but I don't know if you've ever experienced the feeling of seeing someone so attractive all cognitive thought flew out the window.

And then he grinned! And his teeth shined! And he pumped his fist and his bicep bulged! Girl, there was no hope for me or any one attracted to sharks boys, apparently.

Oh man, that sentence reminded me of Taylor Lautner in Shark Boy and Lava Girl.

Anyway, too soon Sidon jumped into the river, and smirking Link grabbed my arm and dragged me over the bridge.

I just...I literally could not do anything other than follow Link.

Damn, this was a big crush on a shark, I wished I was Sidon's concubine and not Ganondorf's! I really hope Sidon doesn't read this, I'll never live it down.

The battle up the river was exhausting, a feeling I was beginning to grow used to, and I really with Valentine was here because he had a habit of just sprinting into enemies and crushing them with his hooves. Donald Trump wouldn't stand a chance.

But alas, he was not here, and Link was probably getting tired of pulling all the weight in this, so I decided to step up and began scouting ahead, sniping certain enemies with my bow and luring others into Link's sword.

We worked well together, and eventually I pushed beautiful Sidon to the back of my mind and focused on just surviving. Also did I mention how many arrows I scavenged from this? The lizalfos are loaded with arrows and harvesting them was so easy, thankfully I wouldn't have to waste rupees on buying more in the domain.

After crossing Luto's Crossing, and convincing Link not to chase after blue hinox at Ralis Pond, the Great Zora Bridge was in sight, and I could see Sidon's red hide glistening in the sun as the rain continued to fall. I was so looking forward to dealing with Vah Ruta because this rain was really getting on my nerves. Even is it did make Sidon glisten. God, I was so _thirsty_.

Finally, we were walking across the Great Zora Bridge, and I was so thankful and really looking forward to sleeping on one of the inn's famous waterbeds, when Link suddenly stopped walking.

I turned around, curious as to why he wasn't carrying on with me when I realised he was taking in the sight before him of the city and it was then that it hit me that despite seeing this all before, the familiarity Link was probably feeling was unknown and maybe even unwelcome.

He was overwhelmed already, he had told me as much when we were discussing Zelda and the task laid out before him, but to actually see one of the cities he had to save reminded him of the daunting task.

I gently laidmy hand on his shoulder, and Link shook his head, thoughts dispelling and walking on into the domain.

Following him, I noticed that zoras stopped and pointed, whispering to each other as they regarded Link with distrustful eyes, particularly the older ones.

I glared back at them, hoping Link would just ignore them but unfortunately we needed directions to get to the king.

A zora guard with black and white colouring was hovering at his post, eyeing us with interest instead of hostility and I decided to walk over and engage him in conversation. Link was oddly quiet.

The zora, who informed his name was Bazz, had requested that Link and I gather ten luminous stones for him in return for two diamonds, which wasn't actually that bad of a deal, so we agreed on the condition that he point us in the direction of the zora king.

We walked up the walkways, _obviously_, that's why they're _walkways_, and walked past the statue of a beautiful zora dressed regally; Mipha.

Link didn't even react, there was no hint of recognition on his face, but I didn't judge him. I knew his lost memories were a cause of anxiety for him, so I would remain silent unless necessary.

The throne room was grand and King Dorephan was _huge_, and that's really saying something as all the zora were, and no exaggeration here, twice my height. Standing beside him proudly was Prince Sidon and again I felt my stomach erupt in butterflies.

I walked over to him, and but he didn't look to me, his eyes still fixed on Mipha, and though it seemed like he was trying to remember it was forced. He just _couldn't_ remember, and to expect him to was unfair, at least it was in my opinion.

He knew her face, I could tell that, but it must've been blurred, like an old fuzzy photograph of someone you know long ago, and Link was lost.

Gently, I reached out, and entwined my fingers with his, ignoring Muzu's inane bitching, and Link seemed to come back to himself then. He squeezed my hand in thanks, before letting go and turning to Sidon.

"So this Lynel, it's up there?" He said, pointing towards the waterfalls far above us.

Sidon nodded, "yes, my sister had made this raiment for you," in his hands lay a small tunic made from zora scales and blue cloth, clearly designed for a hylian and not a zora, despite what Muzu as saying, "with it you will be able to swim upstream like a zora and reach the lynel in no time and get those shock arrows!"

I shurgged, "I've already got shock arrows," I pointed out, retrieving one from my quiver, "though I am running out..."

"how many do you have?" Link asked,

"six,"

Sidon smiled, "if you think you could hit a target with each one then we can just go to Vah Ruta," he suggested.

I thought on it, and while I was a good archer, I wasn't the best, and missing could be catastrophic, "we should get more, I don't want to run out in the middle of taming the divine beast,"

"A wise decision," Sidon said, and I felt the butterflies return.

Link nodded, "right, I'll put this on and then we can head on over, you think you can hold on to me while I swim up?"

"yeah, but just to let you know I'm absolutely petrified of drowning," I said, "no pressure or anything," I added with an after thought.

Link laid a hand on my shoulder, "you know I wouldn't let that happen,"

"I know," I replied, laying my hand on top of his, "I just thought I'd give you prior warning is all,"

"Great!" Sidon said, grinning dashingly, "I'll see you two once you're done, and remember! Be careful!" He said enthusiastically, clapping his hands on each of our shoulders before taking off to the throne room again.

I grinned, "what a relentlessly good-natured man,"

Link smirked, "he is, isn't he? Anything else you've noticed?"

I flushed, well aware that Link could probably tell I had a crush on the zora prince, frankly I surprised he didn't, from what I could glean from the other zoras having a crush on Sidon was common place.

"We should stock up before we head off, maybe have a quick rest?" I suggested.

Link nodded, "I agree, lets see if there are any rooms at the inn, and we'll head out after a nap,"

We walked to the inn, a quaint thing but bigger than it was in the game, the rooms were also more private and sealed off, which I appreciated. I wasn't usually comfortable sleeping out in the open, of course when you're traipsing around Hyrule you do have to make exceptions to certain rules.

"Ah Link!" The innkeeper said, welcoming us with a large smile and recognition sparking in his eyes.

Link didn't remember him either, but he was pleasant as always, "Hi, we're looking to rent lodgings?"

Kayden, the innkeeper whose name I'd learn later as I did with most people, did his best to not look disappointed. Already whispers of Link's memory loss had spread around the domain like wild fire, and every zora that encountered him knew it to be true.

"Of course," Kayden said, "will you require two beds or…?" he looked to us expectantly, and honestly I was surprised Link didn't speak up before me, but as I mentioned before he was quiet around many people and I think his fame here was overwhelming him.

"two beds," I said, pulling out forty rupees and handing them over, "we will also need to cook some food in your pot, if that's okay?"

Kayden smiled brightly, "yes, that's alright," he began counting the rupees when he said something most unexpected, "you don't happen to be Lily the Cuccoo Chaser, are you?"

I groaned, "I was really hoping that wouldn't catch on."


	6. Chapter 6

Man I can't believe how fast I'm getting these bad boys out but the words keep rolling! Embrace while you can readers, I'm sure this will fade into obscurity as well

also if you're concerned about how I will portray the abuse Lily suffered I can assure you that I'm not writing from a place of ignorance, unfortunate as that is, and that Lily will only tell on her terms

Chapter 6

I really didn't want to fight that lynel. Even though it was only a red maned one and I knew Link and I could probably take it, I still didn't want to try anyway.

But we'd promised Sidon, and there's no way I could disappoint that zora.

And so at the crack of dawn Link and I began our expedition up to Ploymus Mountain to ruin the lynel's day, or maybe our own, idk, either way someone's day is going to be ruined and I sincerely hoped it wasn't mine.

The hike was horrific, and despite the fact that my new lifestyle and supplied me with much needed muscle, it still sucked. Vah Ruta was forcing the rain to fall incessantly, and Link tried climbing many times only to slide down and inevitably fall in my way. It was frustrating, and the entire time my mind kept wondering to the various ways the lynel would kill us and eat us. Well, maybe not east us, but they had super sharp teeth and I wasn't willing to entertain a thought that didn't speak of my imminent demise.

What was scarier, Ganondork or a lynel?

Ganondorf, I can confidently say Ganondorf as the only person to ever escape his grasp and live.

I mean I guess Link did too but that hoe had to sleep for 100 years. I didn't get such luxury.

Too much of my brain activity was wasted on Ganondorf, and even with Link to distract me from my nightmarish memories everything seemed to come back to him. I hated it, I hated him, I hated myself.

I needed a way of training myself to not think about him, like a rubber band on my wrist to snap or something, but Hyrule hadn't invented rubber yet and as much as I wished for the convenience of modern 21st Century inventions I knew that this kingdom probably weren't ready for such things.

It's sucks, basically.

"Have you ever seen a lynel before?" Link asked me after failing to climb the mountain for the 23995th consecutive climb. I counted. Okay, that was a lie but still.

I shrugged, "There are two in Hyrule Castle, one guards the gate, I had to slip past it when I escaped,"

Link was silent for a time, he usually was whenever I mentioned the brutality of my past life, but he rarely stayed quiet when we were together.

"I keep forgetting you used to be his..." he trailed off,

"concubine, whore, mistress, fucktoy," I offered sardonically, "not saying it wont change that, but we're gonna kill him, and that'll help a lil, I guess,"

"I'm sorry," Link offered, sorrow in his voice, "I know he's evil, but everyone seems to talk about him as if he's a concept, or something,"

I nodded, "yeah, well, not everyone knows him personally, and they should be thankful for that,"

He hummed, "I think it's easier for them to distance themselves, especially as most people are dead that did know him,"

"perhaps that is for the best," I said ominously, stoutly ignoring Link's eyes as they bored into me, he had this uncanny way of cutting through all the bullshit and seeing the truth of everything. It was disconcerting as it was charming. I admired it, and I feared it.

I never went into detail about Ganondorf's abuse, out of fear and out of shame. Though Link said I shouldn't feel the latter, that what happened to me wasn't my fault and it was my strength that led me to escape. He was right, but there were timed I doubted his words.

"he wasn't always bad..." I said softly, as if I didn't believe the words myself, or didn't want him to hear them. He did though, Link had exceptional hearing.

He didn't say anything for the longest time, so long in fact that I began to wonder if perhaps I had said the wrong thing.

I spoke again, but this time it was without thought and without pre-tense, "that was the worst thing...he occasionally could be kind, but it was always the precursor to violence, I learned to measure his moods based on how gentle he was,"

"it was like the stiller the waters, the worst the storm, and the storm was always bad," my voice was even quieter, "sorry!" I said suddenly, alarm making my heart race, "you probably don't want to hear this..." unsure, uncertain. I hated that feeling.

Link grasped my forearm gently, fingers light and careful, and when I turned to look at him his eyes held a great sorrow.

Neither of us said anything, the atmosphere was delicate and the wrong word could destroy any semblance of trust that we had built.

"you can tell me anything," he said gently, and his hand stroked down my arm to tentatively grasp my fingers with his own, "I can't undo what he did to you, but I can stop it from ever happening again, by him and by anyone else,"

I swallowed thickly, eyes darting down to our linked hands as my heart sped up, "I know," I looked back to him and stepped closer, I could feel his heat and it wrapped me in a comforting embrace, distantly, I was aware of the sun rising over the mountain, bathing us in its rays.

Link's tongue darted out to lick at his dry lips and my eyes followed the action, dropping to his adam's apple as it bobbed when he swallowed.

He was _real_, he was _here_, and I was _real_, and I was _here_. Not there, not in Hyrule Castle, and not with Ganondorf.

I didn't need a rubber band.

I had Link.

And I also had the lynel in my sights over his shoulder, arrow locked onto our location. I gasped and pushed Link forward, falling with him into the dirt as the arrow zoomed passed us and lodged itself into a tree behind us.

I didn't think, sitting up, completely missing Link blushing as I straddled him, and knocked my own arrow aiming at the lynel. It glared at me, and I loosened my hold.

It missed, obviously, I'm not the best archer in Hyrule (yet!).

Link took the moment to push me off him, still with a raging blush, I guess he didn't often get girls on top of him, and rolled into a defensive stance with his sword drawn and shield held high.

I didn't even realise how far we had walked, but we were almost at the peak of the mountain, and the lynel didn't like us intruding in his domain.

Another shock arrow flew towards us and we dodged in separate directions, Link already sprinting forward as I tried to think up a plan.

The lynel was too fast to shoot, and too strong to tackle with my sword. And my swordplay was lacking anyway.

Link had a death wish, or at least that was something I was led to believe in our time together, but for all of Link's death defying antics, he was the bravest person I had ever met in my entire life. However, there were times I wished he was a coward.

This was one of these times.

Somehow, for some reason, Link had managed to _mount the lynel_.

He wasn't the brightest star in the sky, but at least he was strong. And he had nice arms.

_Wait, what?! 'nice arms'?! Where did that come from?!_

Well, we were going to ignore that for now, especially as I realised that I had just been admiring Link in some horrified-yet-impressed kind of way and not actually helping.

The lynel managed to throw Link off, and had also managed to realise that I was just standing there like a gormless idiot. It charged forward, and I knew I'd never outrun it.

It's thundering hooves drew ever closer and as panic gripped me in it's unforgiving hold I didn't something I didn't think through, and hoped would work.

Link was shouting at me, but I blocked him out, I had to time this right or I would die.

The lynel was almost on top of me, dirt kicking up in it's fury and I dropping forward, rolling between those deadly hooves and didn't stop for a moment, didn't think. I grabbed it's tail and push myself up and over.

I landed on the furious lynel's back and realised what a hypocrite I was for mentally berating Link for doing exactly at I was now.

But unlike Link, I knew how to hold onto a bucking wild animal with terrible strength and a murderous appetite for blood.

Yes, that was a reference to Ganondorf, unsavoury as it may be.

The lynel was pissed that I was on it's back, but the distraction allowed Link a chance to get a few slashes with his sword in (and also take a picture with the shiekah slate which we will _definitely_ talk about later).

The lynel ran around erratically, trying to buck me off, but it was unsuccessful and I managed to pilfer the shock arrows it vainly tried to shoot at me. These are mine, bitch.

Link noticed that I had kindly taken the arrows, and began his assault once more, trying hard not to swipe at me with his sword. I in turn unsheathed the dagger in my boot and tried to stab at the lynel with as much strength as I had. Not a lot, mind you, but I was busy trying not to get upended and trampled beneath angry hooves.

Now that the lynel couldn't fire it's terrible bow, I focused on divesting it of its other weapons but they were buckled on well and the erratic movement of the lynel wasn't making it easy.

"Get its sword off!" I heard Link shout, but the lynel had swiped at me with a big clawed hand, catching my on my stomach and it was with hazy eyes that I noticed by green tunic began to look more red.

I looked to Link, but his attention was forcibly taken by the roaring lynel and I barely noticed as Link screamed my name.

My vision began to blur, and the red stain on my tunic was getting larger and larger with every ragged breath. The pain that had once been excruciating had faded to a dull ache and a violent shiver overtook me. This was bad, this was very bad.

Distantly, I likened the red to the wine I used to drink with the other concubines. Where were they now? I missed Azalea's large motherly hands, and I missed the laughter of Heather and Lavender, Rose would be concerned, even the tiniest of scratches worried her, though she was often more concerned with the necklace of bruises I wore.

The air was cold, but my shivering was worse and it was with a heavy heart that my grip slacked.

I bit back a scream as the lynel threw me over its bloody head and onto the ground below it. I didn't know where Link was, my vision was darkening but I had enough consciousness left to feel the fetid hot breath of the lynel, and I sluggishly thrust my dagger in the general direction of the lynel.

Blood sprayed me in its warm ichor, and I realised I must've hit my mark as the lynel roared ferociously in pain before slumping forward and trapping me beneath its heavy body.

I opened my bleary eyes, watching as Link slit the lynel's throat to ensure its death. He was shouting, eyes watery as he called my name but I couldn't hear him.

The world left me and my eyes closed.

I wasn't in Hyrule Castle, I wasn't with Ganondorf. He didn't get to kill me.


End file.
